


Refuge

by DaturaMoon



Series: Narcos [1]
Category: Narcos
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:28:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaturaMoon/pseuds/DaturaMoon
Summary: Javier Pena x Female reader (ex-mistress of Escobar) (no y/n)Words:  488     | Rating: Adult 18 *   Mature contentSummary: Summary: Javier Pena provides shelter for one of Pablos ex-mistressesWarnings: Aside form the general topic being intense, none
Relationships: Javier Pena / female reader
Series: Narcos [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1919074
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	1. Two Weeks

It was always hot in Colombia. Still, tonight felt more tropical than usual. The film of sweat cast on your skin returned with a vengeance only hours after the cold shower. 

You didn’t want to sleep. Sleep meant a few peaceful moments followed by nightmares. Terror filled revisits to what was seen with your own eyes; to the way Pablo's eyes would turn ink black as pure rage and ego overtook him. 

Looking back, if you told your younger self you’d end up the ex-mistress of Escobar, you’d laugh. A ridiculous idea, right? But the day he caught sight of you changed everything. You couldn’t say no to Escobar. You needed to take care of your family, at least if you were pulled into this, you could provide for them. 

It was a lavish life, luxury paid for by blood and greed. He took care of you. You had the best of everything, clothes, home, jewelry, and the most extravagant parties and trips. You even moved your shrinking family further out, providing them with comfort and ease. As for you, Pablo was hooked and wasn't going to let you go easy. 

You tried to leave Pablo a couple of times; each time he'd get you back. But not this time. Two weeks free of him, you should feel relieved, hopeful. You didn't. Instead, you were exhausted and terrified. 

Now, you lay in a bed of a stranger, a DEA agent kind enough to give you asylum. Two weeks ago you went to the clinic, that’s where you met Connie. You were in bad shape, your wounds were internal, emotional, psychological. Something about Connie made you open up to her.

Connie, the kind soul she is, took you here. The apartment of Javier Pena. At first, he wasn’t too excited about it, that was clear, but you understood why. You even suggested staying elsewhere, not to be a burden. 

But as the days passed by, he warmed up to you, just a little at a time. Never pushing too hard for the information he wanted to know so badly, he was gentle with you. 

He wasn’t home much, but he made sure you had everything you needed, even if the conversation was light. One thing you noticed quickly was his soft core, despite his hardened exterior. His eyes were heartfelt. Pena made sure to have fresh towels in the bathroom and a glass water by the bedside for you. He’d make coffee and buy you pastries, though they were often cold by the time you’d wake. 

Slowly, over the two weeks, the bachelor pad became warmer, softer, cleaner as he tried to make it comfortable for you. You appreciated everything Connie, Steve, and especially Javier we’re doing for you. 

Perhaps being sleep deprived and balmy made you more reflective. Either way, on this long night in the apartment alone, the road leading you here played heavily in your mind.


	2. Burned Pancakes

Javier didn’t know what to do. 

Night after night, you tossed and turned in the bed. Plagued by nightmares and replays of your life. Along with that, on some nights, you could still feel Pablo; see his eyes, hear his voice. You were being haunted. Despite never talking about this out loud, you knew what was happening, the same as Javier. 

It was week three, the night before you had one of the worst nights in recent memory. Javier was out, you assumed with work or a woman. When he finally came home, sometime between 4 and 5 am, you were in the middle of an anxiety attack from a terrible nightmare. 

Javier rushes into the room, his silhouette defined in the darkness as you sat up in the bed, head in your hands. He sits beside you, on hand soft against your arm as the other rubbed small circles on your back. 

“It’s okay, I’m here-” his voice comforting you, despite the tinge of worry. You lean into him, his arm comes up to hold you as you take a deep breath in.

A few minutes pass this way, his presence helping you find your breath and slow down the anxiety invading your every cell. Javier holds you, quiet as you find your way back to the room, to the moment. 

It’s only then that he speaks, “Y/n.” Your name soft on his lips, the softest you’ve ever heard it said. 

“Yes?” 

You look up at him, his arm still tight around your body; your faces only inches away from each other. Even in the darkness of the room, you could see the puppy dog look in his eyes. 

You were so close, you could smell the mixture of cigarettes and whiskey on his lips. The leather of his jacket dancing up into your nose, topping off the scent of Javier Peña. A scent that has become comforting to you over the last few weeks. 

“What can I do to help?” He asks. 

“I don’t know, I guess I just- it will take time. Maybe,” you adjust your position, careful to keep close to him. Almost as if he could read your mind, Javier keeps his arm where it is; like he knows you need this. 

“If there’s anything else I can do. Tell me.” 

“You’re already doing so much. Just by helping me, giving me a place to stay. I’m so afraid he’ll find me. I never thought I could feel safe again, but with you...with you, I feel safe.” 

Javier's eyes soften and he pulls you a little closer. His free hand finding your cheek and caressing it. You let your eyes fall closed again. 

“Javier, thank you for not pushing me. I haven’t been ready to talk about a lot of it, I know I've only given you very little.” 

“You don’t have to talk about anything until you are ready.” 

“What if I stay too long? I’m sure you want your life back.” You sit up and fuss with the trim of the bedsheet, avoiding his eyes, afraid of his answer. “I feel like I’m a shackle on your life…” your voice trails off. 

“Y/n,” 

He says your name and you don’t look up. He gently places a finger under your chin and lifts your gaze to his. He sees the tears in your eyes. 

“You are not a burden. You can stay here as long as you wish. I promise I’ll keep you safe.” 

Overwhelmed by emotion, you quickly wipe the tears escaping your eyes. 

“Can you stay? At least until I fall asleep?” 

“Of course.” Javier gets off the bed gently. Removing his jacket and boots. 

You lay down and pull the sheet over you. When Javier joins you, he lays down with a respectable amount of space between your bodies, but his warmth still wraps around you like a second blanket. You rest your head on the pillow and roll onto your side to face him. He’s already watching you. 

“You don’t have to sleep on the couch, this is your bed, your home.” 

“I want you to be comfortable.” 

“I’d prefer if you were next to me, it feels better.” 

“No more couch then.” He says with a smile. 

You force a matching one and close your eyes, hoping to find sleep. 

You feel his weight shift on the bed, and soon his lips meet your forehead. The kiss felt sweet, like a blessing. Soon sleep follows, you sleep the best you had in weeks. 

…

When you wake in the morning, the smell of burned pancakes meets your nostrils. Making your way into the kitchen, you find Javier flustered and the kitchen a mess. Pancake batter is all over the place, batter handprints on his shirt and pants. 

When he turns to see you, he even has batter on the side of his face. You start to laugh, the first laugh you've had in longer than you can remember. You hold your stomach and curl over. Unable to stop, the laugh deepens and gets louder. 

“What?” He asks, with wide eyes and genuinely confused. 

“It’s just - you have-” you try to catch your breath and hold on to the side of the table for support. After a deep breath, you manage to regain some composure, “you look five years old!” 

He lowers his head, grinning as he looks around at the mess. 

“I know you had a hard night, I wanted to make you breakfast. I burned the pancakes.”

“I can smell that, but,” you stand behind him, placing a hand on his back, “if we smoother them in enough butter and syrup, they might be edible.” 

Javier looks back at you, a smile in his eyes. You don't know what overcomes you, but you wrap your arms around his torso and hug him tight. Resting your head against his back. 

Javier leans into it. You can hear the softest of sighs leave his lips, his arms wrapping over yours, reinforcing the embrace. 

You both stand like this for a while, just being with each other. Javier turns to you, taking your hand into his. 

“Let’s eat this before it gets cold.” 

“Next time, let me make breakfast.” You say with a smile. 

“You got it.” Javier winks at you, then pulling out a seat for you at the table.


	3. Thoughtful

Javier Peña was many things. The things everyone thought he was, and what he really was. He was a complex man, a beautiful abstract painting of a soul; he was multifaceted. 

As you and Javier grew closer, you added another word to define him; thoughtful. It was in all the little things he did for you. Even the way his brown eyes would observe you so softly when you had your meetings with him and Steve, sharing what you knew and giving them insight into Pablo's world. 

It was comforting. You knew, if talking about something too hard, all you had to do was look at him. Just like that, Javier would cut it short and make you his first priority. Javier could read all your tiny signs, it made you feel both naked and safe. 

Javier didn't just learn your little big things; You learned his. What each little grunt, eye brow raise, and what each version of the word Fuck really meant. You could tell this was something that comforted and disarmed him.

From what you knew of Agent Peña, he was a ladies man, a one night stand kind of guy. Except for those longer runs with informants, as you learned from overhearing Steve give him shit. 

“You’re fucking her, aren't you?” 

“Fuck you, Murphy.” 

You were around the corner, they thought you were still sleeping, but you heard it all. 

You’ve been here for a while and you indeed did not sleep together. Though, you were flirting with levels of intimacy you knew were likely foreign to him, or, at least he hadn't let himself do those things in a long time. 

You shared a bed, you made each other meals, well, more you than him - he was many things, a good cook wasn't one of them. You watched novelas and listened to music together; you even fell into the habit of hugging and snuggling on the couch. Your head on his shoulder, his arm around you. 

Sometimes, late at night when Javier thought you were asleep, he’d kiss your forehead. It took everything in you not to wake; you didn’t want to scare him away or make him doubt the gesture.

In fact, you looked forward to the forehead kisses. Some nights, when you laid there awake, hearing him come through the door you’d pretend to sleep, knowing the sweetest kiss would come. Followed by his warm body climbing into bed next to yours at some point. 

Sometimes you wondered how much of a damper you put on his lifestyle. It’s not like his place was free for his sex life at the moment; some nights when he came in super late, you’d feel a little hint of worry. Wondering if he’d just been out with a lover and now regretted having you here. 

But your fears were unfounded. Javier never once did or said anything to confirm he felt this way. Whenever you would bring it up, usually under the guise of a joke, he’d look at you with soft eyes and ask if you were serious. Each time, you’d dismiss it, shrug it off and changing the subject. 

You came here for refuge; you didn’t expect this. You didn’t expect your heart to get involved. This DEA agent keeping you safe had felt like the most real relationship you've ever had, yet you weren't in one. Any day now, when your papers were ready, you would be leaving, never to see him, or hear his voice again; the thought broke your heart. 

On one of those particularly hard days, you were in quite a mood. You contemplated packing the few things you had; a backpack and some clothing Connie was kind enough to get for you, and leave. Write a note, place it on the table, and go; try to survive on your own. 

You were seriously contemplating this as you worked on your second drink when Javier came through the door. A brown paper bag under his left arm as he flashed a smile at you. 

“Hey.” His voice is soothing and you immediately feel terrible for thinking of leaving him like that. 

“Hi,” you put the drink down and sit up straight to better see him. 

You watch as he locks the door and moves into the kitchen. You were checking him out, but you did that often. It wasn't anything new. He was also wearing one of your favorite shirts, red looked damn good on him. 

Once he joins you, he pats your legs so you can make room for him on the couch. He drops down and hands you the brown paper bag, a spark of anticipation in his eyes. 

“For you.” 

“What is this?” 

“Just open it.” 

“Okay,” you smirk, he would bring a gift in a paper bag. 

When you open it, you gasp aloud. It’s a VHS of your favorite movie.

One night while talking late on the couch, you told him you'd watch it all the time, how it could cheer you up no matter how bad you felt. “Javi!” 

“That was not easy to get!” He points at it, his eyebrow raised. 

“But, you found it anyway, thank you.” 

You lock eyes, he stops moving. The cigarette he was about to put between his lips now just dangling from his fingers. 

You lean forward and kiss his cheek, letting your lips linger there a little too long. When you back away, his free hand comes up to grab your arm, keeping you close to him. 

Your heart races as the butterflies in your stomach fly around at a frantic pace. You can see the slightest part between his lips; the smell of him engulfs you. 

You swear you’ll faint when his gaze drops ever so slightly as he leans forward and kisses you on the lips. 

The kiss is sweet, innocent, gentle; the softest kiss you’ve ever had. As he pulls away, Javier caresses your face. You can see a storm of emotions in his eyes. 

Cupping your face, Javier extends his neck and kisses your forehead before taking his hands away, leaving you feeling both warm and electrified. 

“How about you put that on. I want to see this movie you love so much.” 

You both smile. 

You knew him well enough by now to know he was being careful. He did care about you. He did share the same emotions and desires you harbored for him. The gentle kiss was good, it was special. For now, it was enough. 

You pull your eyes away from him and hop to your feet, quickly putting the VHS in the VCR as you feel his eyes burning into you. 

When you return to the sofa, he puts the cigarette away and sits back, lifting his arm to offer you the spot. You take it with pleasure.


	4. Unfinished story

The feeling stirred in your gut all afternoon. It took a great effort to hold down your food or concentrate. It was a strange mix of excitement and fear. 

Your answer came as Javier came through the door. It was clear something was off. First, he was early, very early. Second, his hand clenched the doorknob tight. He even let it linger there before releasing it. 

The soft “hey” he usually greets you with is replaced by thorny silence. You knew he couldn’t be upset with you, perhaps it was a bad day? Or, maybe they lost someone. 

You sit straight up on the couch, gauging his mood to choose what to say. Feeling concerned and worried for him. 

Javier sets his shades on the table. A strained sigh escapes him as he sinks down on the couch beside you. His expression is heavy, sad.

“Are you okay?” You ask. 

His eyes soften a little as he grabs your hand, caressing the back of it.   
Javier parts his lips to speak, he freezes. 

“Javier?” 

Remaining heavily silent, Javier keeps hold of your hand while reaching into his jacket with the other. 

Everything slows down, your heartbeat jumps to your ears. You notice the slightest shake in his hand, so small anyone could miss it. 

You open your palms, accepting the passport and envelope. They feel suddenly hot, so does your face. 

Not a second after handing you the files, Javier quickly retrieved a cigarette, pursing it between his lips and lighting it. 

Your face tightens, moisture covers your eyes. One tear escapes as you blink. What you’ve waited for, what you dreamed of, your final step to escape your past, and Pablo forever now rests in your hands. 

Your lips part as breath escapes your throat. This very moment feels unreal. Then, as you think of freedom it hits you, it hits you hard. The coming of this moment meant you’d have to say your goodbyes; you’d have to depart from Javier. 

Placing the items down on the couch, you take the cigarette from his fingers and rub it out on the nearby ashtray. 

If he smoked, he wouldn’t talk to you, and you needed him to speak to you. You needed to discuss this. You knew Javier understood, you could see it in his eyes. 

You start, holding his gaze, “Thank you, Javier. For everything.” 

He nods, a man of few words, downplaying the massive help he’s been to you. 

“We should celebrate, tonight. I’ll cook something!”

Javier offers a small smile before planting a kiss on your forehead. He presses his to yours, letting it linger there for a moment before standing.   
He paces, his hands on his hips, 

“It’s better you take the soonest flight. Safer.”

“But, if I go now then - then this is it?” Your eyebrows bunch, you come to a standing position. 

Javier didn’t know what to say, he had no words. Words escaped him the moment he got the news and your papers landed in his hands. 

All this time, he knew this was coming. Still, he wasn’t prepared. He wasn’t ready. You being so receptive to him, his silence told you this. 

Javier opens his arms, pulling you into a hug and holding you close, his nose in your hair. You lose your concept of time, unaware of how long you’ve been in his arms. 

When he finally speaks, it pains your hearts even more, “You need to pack. Connie will take you to the airport.” 

You look up at him, his jacket bunched in your fists around his back as you hold on to him tight. 

“Instead of goodbye, can we say, until we meet again.” 

“Until we meet again, y/n.” Javier caresses your face as his lips meet yours. The sweet kiss deepens as you breathe each other in. 

Your heart racing, pulse-quickening, skin warm with heat. As you kiss, Javier wipes away the tears rolling down your cheeks. 

Javier pulls away first, his hands move to the side of your face. 

“Thank you.” His voice sweet and heavy at the same time. He didn’t elaborate, but you were sure you knew what those two words really meant. 

“I only have minutes left with you, and very little to pack. Will you stay close?”

“Of course.” He offers a smile before taking your hand into his.


	5. New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time jump: Months later (after Escobar is caught and Javier is sent back to the states)

As you stroll the isle of the party store, you’ve yet to find what you need. It was a strange little habit you picked up, but on your road trips, you liked to buy one thing from a party store and bring it back; some funky little trinket that symbolized one more place on your tour of freedom. 

Back where you settled for home, you had a small shelf with 3 trinkets on it; this would be your 4th. You liked the idea of that, 4 being the number of home, stability. This one felt extra important. 

As you enter isle 6, you stop dead in your tracks. A familiar voice grumbles a mix of words and curses. A voice you know well, a voice which has embedded itself deep in your bones, in your DNA, in your heart. 

A voice of a man who you shared the most profound intimacy with despite never actually having sex with him. A man who haunted you every single day, and every single day you still longed for him. 

You gather courage and prepare yourself, you tell yourself, I’m just making this up. It cant be- won’t be, him.

As you near isle 7 your heart stops, it is him. In the flesh right before you. He’s holding a crumpled up list in one hand, a basket in the other. His hair is a little longer and a bit disheveled, you know he ran his hand through it a few times. He looks like a stressed-out man and a young kid all at once.   
As you will your feet to move, your voice to work, you can’t help but notice what he’s wearing. A plaid shirt with dark jeans.  
“Javier.” You finally speak, finding only his name to say. 

What you didn’t know was that your voice hit his ears like a siren song. A phantom of an angel from his past. At first, Javier didn’t turn around, he didn’t believe it. You repeat this name, he turns around. 

Javier's jaw drops ever so slightly as his eyes widen, there’s almost a puppy dog look to his eyes. 

“Y/n.” 

“Javier.” 

You smile wide, wider than you’ve ever had before. You float more than walk to him. Javier takes two strides toward you, pulling you into the warmest hug. The hug feels like medicine, healing, like hope. 

Once you part just enough to speak, while still holding on to each other, Javier talks first, 

“It’s you -” He’s visibly breathless. 

You realize, at some point, he must have dropped the basket, as his hands are now free and around your body. Javier observes you longingly and holds your face with his hands.“Y/n.” 

You giggle, “Javier.” 

He hugs you again, you melt into him. There is so much you want to say, to ask, to know. As he holds you for dear life, Javier feels the same.

As your bodies become two once more, his hands slide down to capture yours. 

“Y/n, what are you doing here?” 

“Driving through, its a long drive through. Texas is huge.” 

He smiles, “It is.” 

“My turn, what are you doing here?” You squeeze his hands. 

“Home town, I have some family gathering to go to.” 

“And the list, you pulled the short stick and have to pick up the last minute items?” You free one of your hands to touch his hair.

He doesn't reply, only nods with that heart-stealing smile on his lips. 

“Let me help you with that,” you pull the crumbled list from his pocket, where he must have shoved it when you were too distracted by his face, “before you pull your hair out, I like your hair."

You laugh together and he backs up, retrieving the basket while keeping his eyes on you. 

“You look great y/n, happy.” 

“I am, thanks to you.” 

In need of your touch, he takes your free hand back, holding it, “I’d do it all over again.” 

“Me too.” You wink at him and look over the list, leading the way. You only take a few steps when he stops, you look over your shoulder to see why. 

“Y/n, that family thing. Would you like to come with me?” 

“Like, on a date?” 

“What else would it be?” His response sending you over the moon, you touch the stars, You want to jump for joy. 

“Yes, yes a hundred times.” 

Later that night 

You were enjoying the party, you even met most of his family and most of Laredo. Still, Javier was the most important part of today. You feared you’d never see him again, but fate worked in your favor and crossed your paths. 

At one point, Javier whisks you away from the festivities. You stop outside under a tree, his hand still resting on your waist. 

The look in his eyes is enough to make you want to kiss him. Instead, you wait, you have to get something off your chest. You hope it meant something to see him again, 

“Javier, I’m glad you asked me to come. In case I never see you again, I have to tell you this. A lot happened to me in Colombia, but I’m grateful I met you. You did so much more than a proved refuge, you showed me something I thought I’d never have. I fell in love with you, Javier. I-I still love you.” 

That smile you love so much reappears before his lips meet yours. Once he pulls away, his hands lovingly caress your arms before returning to your cheeks. 

“I’m not going anywhere. Now that I have you again, I’m not letting you go. I love you too y/n.”


End file.
